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08:35am 16/10/2007
  I woke up this morning to a beautiful sunrise over the beach... I am incredibly blessed.. and I am learning how to embrace life as it comes.. not to cling to the past or hope too much for things to come but to learn how to love the now.. its weird.. I am tired of feeling like im not doing anything of much worth.. like thinking about the events and things that occupied my time in the past week and analyzing whether it amounts to anything or if I am just filling my time..I want so much more out of life.. I want to take this life for all its worth.. where to start.. hha  
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08:44pm 26/05/2007
  they say a picture says a thousand words but what if you had people and a thousand words would they be enough of the words of life to paint them a picture  
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04:20pm 03/05/2007
  This week has been full on.
We had intensives tues and weds so we could just do a whole course rather than spread it over the next term so that was long.. and then I started doing an extra ministry which turned out to be amazing and Im so excited about it. and we started break today!! yay! Its my roommates birthday so we made her breakfast it was cute!
Im finding that I'm becoming more happy has time goes. I have ups and downs but for the most part I can see myself settling in sometime kind of soon. Which is cool.

I hope to find a job this week.
I applied at Starbucks. That's funny to me.
I kind of hope I get that actually.
Started to study a bit on Scientology. The way I see it, knowledge is power. So why not right? My roommates got a little uncomfortable with my books and papers about it around the house though. Haha which obviously made me laugh. I love my flatmates.

19 in 3 and a half months. The past year since I turned 18.. well i dont know what it did I mean where did it go? At least I can look at the fact that im in australia and say I did SOMETHING i guess productive with it. Made it here off of time and effort put in then so.. hah i hope year 19 I do more and greater things. I want to be a legend, not a one hit wonder. I heard someone say that and I think it is both funny, and for my life true. One day at a time. One person at a time. Make a huge impact kind of like the pay it forward theory. When you impact 5 people who in turn each impact 5 people, well thats 25 that Ive impacted somehow and so on.

Getting back what life is about. Instead of what it isnt; me.
To life a selfish life isnt living at all. And so many people do and dont even realize.		  
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06:21pm 20/04/2007
  So my computer crashed.
Freaking bummer because that's how I keep in touch with like.. yeah everyone.

but thats okay Im hoping to get it fixed some way in the near future.
I might have gotten a job at this Italian restaurant which is pretty cool.
Not much is going on here. I love my flat mates. They grow on me more each day :)
I really miss some people from home though, A LOT! but thats okay Im becoming more of my own person because Im forced to do things by myself a lot because I only know so many people.. which is good I reckon. I wonder what I'll be like in a years time when I go home for Christmas? I can't wait.. but then again I can. I have a 2 week break in one weeks time so stoookkkedd!!

my room looks like a war zone. 2 girls.. a lot of clothes.. no time to keep tidy = bad
very bad.
hah..
It's funny because I have never had sisters much less shared a room but I have to say..
I love it.
it's really random. But honestly Ive gotten to where I love sharing everything and not having ANYTHING that is 100% mine. nothing. I enjoy having someone make me tea when I wake up and vice versa.. it's become the way of life for me.. lol. college.

For the first time I'm learning what it is to know Jesus, just to know him. With out any other motives, reasons, nothing.. just to know him. It's kind of a long, slightly painful, but the most amazing thing.. ever. yeah I love it.

cheers		  
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10:44pm 11/04/2007
  I saw Blindside play last night. I had so much fun. It has been way too long since I went to a show. Too much money just for a show though ha 45$ .. ah well you only live once right..

skipped school a lot this week. I kind of feel bad but I have assignments due friday and I haven't done much until these past few hours haha.. okay past day and a half.. almost finished though. I talk to pastor Tim last night from my church back home. Really random I called the church to talk to someone else and we ended up talking. He has the best heart ever.. and he really encouraged me. I love that things will always work out.

I think I'm kind of sick. I'm drinking green tea right now. Yum. I hope it will make my throat feel a different way than it does currently. We'll see what happens.

I walked to the post office today because I missed the drop off yesterday of it at my house. I hate when that happens. But I was glad for the walk this morning to be honest. It was amusing though because I pretty much walk right through the ghetto (but keep in mind there really arent any black people here so ghetto isnt like gangster going to be shot if you look at them wrong ghetto is just dirty, dumpy, sketchy) to get there and I feel like I'm in a whole different world. Like literally people multiple times missing limbs just wandering around on crutches and walking missing arms.. most dont have teeth and if they do they are straight up black and sick. But I did see what appeared to be some pretty cool thrift stores. With that in mind I might have to venture back to that side sometime soon. Could be fun?

I applied and interviewed for a job yesterday. I go in for a trial next week. It is just serving at a fine italian restaurant which is cool im excited I just hope it all works out. Im really nervous. I dont know why I know serving like the back of my hand but new jobs and people just put that 'im expecting you to fail' vibe out. Itll be fine. plus Ill be making 17 an hour plus tips which is UNHEARD of for a waiting job right? aha well around here to tip isnt very common so the higher wage is necessary but it'll just be nice to have money. I want to by a guitar.

I want to teach my self how to play. Im still teaching myself the piano and I love that, but I think it would be cool to be able to play both. I feel like running but its day time.. I only like to run when its dark. Don't ask me why, its just.. nicer.

back to assignments.
story of my life these days...

but blindside made it all okay..		  
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08:53am 10/04/2007
  wow. I'm really an idiot and may have lost the best thing I had.

I don't mean to be.. Marilyn says it's because I have a lot of "feeler" in me. hah nevermind that last bit.

I can't believe it's almost mid april.
I have a job interview tomorrow. I hope I get it. I miss having a job so much. It is kind of what makes me feel like life is real. When i'm not working here I'm not helping myself to feel more like this is home. When I work I'll feel more like a person. hah. I don't like the idea of spending money and just taking money 'out' with out money going 'in'. Kind of gives me anxiety. Plus, I'm starting to run out anyways.

I really want to be in the states right now so I could see one person and really say I'm sorry and how I really feel and what I really meant. It's just not the same over the computer/phone/text messages. It's just not the same.

Why Bible College in Australia? There are tons in America. Tons.
Just kidding a bit. I mean I'm not kidding. But im grateful to be here and to be able to travel and experience what a lot of people couldn't dream of. I really am thankful.

I went running tonight and listened to my Zune. I usually don't run with music I just like to think. It made me run a bit faster and not count my breathing properly which in turn made me feel like my lungs no longer existed and/or forgot to function on my behalf. But I ran more tonight than I have in a long time. It felt amazing. I love to run, it's therapeutic.

I want snow. haha good luck with that, I know.		  
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11:44pm 07/04/2007
  Man school is the ultimate downer. I took a bus to the city and sat at starbucks (which was wonderful) and worked on assignments. blahh. The day was actually pretty fun though despite that. Then I went running in the rain and the jumped in the pool with all of my clothes on. Then sat in the steam room and talked to some pro-whatever Rugby players aha. Kinda weird. Watched derailed which was good by the way and went to sleep.

Only to get a phone call that woke me up at 4am from my neighbors friend who was outside of my door. He carried on about how they got locked out and are wasted yada yada but its 4 and im like who the hell .. haha.. so 3 grown men, 2 that I didnt now, in suits ended up sleeping on my living room floor haha. My life is so random here!

We had Easter service right on the harbor today. It was beautiful.

Thank you Jesus for your resurrection that gives us power to overcome.		  
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01:09am 06/04/2007
  Funniest Day Ever.

So I woke got awaken this morning by my flat mate who threw a letter on top of me informing me that we had been evicted from our apartment.

-So go back about a week from today. We hadnt actually "met" our neighbors yet but we had this semi-war going with childish pranks. Like putting posters on each others doors, making homemade welcome mats, etc. So we (my flat mates and I) take the plants that are in the foyer of the building and bring them up to our floor and place them in front of their door..
with in 2 days everything had been removed from our doors and hall we assumed by the cleaners.

Back to today,
so the letter stated that being the reason for why we were being removed. That and reason to believe we were throwing water bombs from our balcony which we did but anyways. SO in the midst of emotions we don't pay high attention to the letter. We start thinking about how we have to find another place. One of my flat mates is like we have to go NOW.. like wouldnt let me shower haha. So we ask my neighbors if they got the same letter because that would have sucked. but they didnt so he tells us to go down to the offices and talk to someone about it. We do that and needless to say the guy tells us it is a fake but it wasnt a manager just like a security guy but so we leave and call the number on the letter and it shows up in my phone as a guy we go to school with right. So we flip the page on them.

They came over to our house when church was over because they had left something here last night and tries to inform us that it was a fake but we play it off like we had already found another apartment signed the lease paid our bonds and were screwed right. So they start freaking out that they have to pay for all of this stuff because were stuck with 2 houses now right. haha So then they come back later and they are like can we go where you signed the lease and talk to them or whatever and we tell them it wont matter but we can try and for them to just meet us down stairs and then they came back up and I acted like I had just called but really I went and got my neighbor and told him to act like the manager.. So I give the guys my neighbors number and tell them to try all they want and I leave (and go to my neighbors) So they guys call him and tell him this long explanation on why we signed the lease and my neighbor is like this has nohting to do with me its a contract end of story ahah...So the guys leave and are like we are going to go talk to the school theyll help us meanwhile trying to think of a solution on how they are going to get all the money and not kicked out of the country because they have no money haha.. so we realize we cant let them go talk to the school so I call them and tell them my neighbor had a good idea to come back up hah and my neighbor was sitting on the couch right and we tell them to call again and say this plan we had and so he did and my neighbors phone rang and they FREAKED OUT!! we got them sooooo gooood! even better than they got us.

We're making a video. It's going to be great..

because they thought they were getting us.. they hid a camera to "see our reaction" when they told us it was a joke so we have on video them "finding out" we already signed another lease haha. So great.

I love it.		  
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11:52am 04/04/2007
  went and saw 300 tonight for it's 'first showing'. Not a bad movie. Hard couple of days, lost a good friend.. one of my favorites, life keeps happening. no worries mate.


Funny how much people change in short periods of time.
I love to watch people.

I was talking to my best friend from 5th grade and we were thinking about how funny we turned out. Who would have thought either of us would have ended up the way we did? Funny.
leaders are readers. I want to start reading a lot more.
I love those people who know random trivia like multitudes of meaningless facts. I wish I was that way haha. I wish I still had people like that around me. I have a few friends back home that way. Im going to search for some here.


Im going to be happy. I have no reason to be anything but.		  
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07:29am 03/04/2007
  'I spend my time, day in-day out, preparing myself for and doing the work of the ministry. Telling people about how much God loves them, and he does oh man does he. That alone is truth. And yet, I find myself struggling to believe it about myself. How can I teach something if I won't allow to consume me?'
pray for me.		  
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08:27pm 31/03/2007
  my living situation is the weirdest situation ever. Four girls, two rooms. And we all have very very different personalities that tend to clash. haha. Mainly this one who is american but has lived in El Salvador for like 5 years or so and is super earthy and only showers when she 'has to'. Not that that is wrong Im just demonstrating our differences ha. but at the same time she was raised by missionaries and she thinks that she knows everything. So anything that is said by anyone is corrected by her because she is oh so wise. lol. So we are all learning patience and how to have grace with her even though we would like to go off on her most of the time when she talks.. lol. I have this one flat mate that is really clean and organized and a list maker and shes normally kind of quiet but has reallllly dry humor.. haha and at first we didn't understand each other because im not organized and stuff for the most part and whatever but now shes like one of my favorites. It's good to get out and live with other people than your family.. especially people you don't pick out then you really have to learn to deal with randdomm things that they find to be normal.

I want to go to Norway and Japan. Okay and maybe Sweden too.		  
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11:09am 30/03/2007
  I wish to become more than I am. I hope I'm never content with where I am in life or who I am. But now more than ever I want to really focus on becoming something more. Becoming part of a company of people who value the life giving sacrifice of living for something bigger than yourself. "he who tries to save his life will lose it, and he who loses his life, for my sake, will save it" hah I love the word of God.. but I want this to become suchhh truth in my life.. as I lose my life in Christ and the kingdom work, I will so find it. And the more of God I find, the more Ill find of myself.
I wish to become more than I am.		  
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04:54pm 25/03/2007
  even though monday is the only other day we have off besides the weekends and we serve on sundays.. it seems like my weekends are sooo long. I love it. Went to a 'college party' last night lol..in bible college terms that means we had a bbq on a roof.. it was pretty fun though hey.

I cant believe this is my life for the next 2 years.
weird.

I wonder whats next?		  
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I stole this from a good friend who is amazing   
08:11pm 11/03/2007
 
mood: thankful
you. you have saved me once again
from total destruction. you come to
my aid when i soil your face with spit
and cover your face with my iniquity.
but still, you remain. you do not leave
me in the pit i dug of faithlessness and
inhumanity, but rather you reach down
your mighty hand and pull me up with
the greatest of ease. it is you.

you let me slip, as to teach me, but you
will never let me fall. on a cliff you may
let me rake my own face against the rocks,
but you would never let me meet the ground
below face to face. i am guilty of adhering
to the slanderous banter of immoral men,
unconsciously allowing me to fall into
their ranks - further damning my already
depraved soul.

i meet you face to face, but then i turn my
back to you and begin calling out your name.
i scream out your name as i have my fingers
in my ears. i am guilty of calling out for
you and not listening to you return my cry,
then feeling insulted or unloved, under the
impression that you weren't listening to me.
but the wise man knows that it was i who
wasn't listening.

i have no one to blame, and i am tired to
looking for others to blame. i have laid with
snakes and wondered why i was bitten and poisoned.
i have been as foolish as the man who threw all
his weight onto the foot which was in a bear
trap and was then confused and perplexed as to why
the foot bled. but more importantly, i am the
man that when the nails pierced your skin, the
weight of my sin and my hard-heartedness drove
that spike further down further ravaging your
flesh.

so i fervently apologize. i wish to make amends
with you. i want to kiss your face - not soil it.
i take heed to your words. dont let this book of
law depart from my mouth. you know the true desire
of my heart and you know what overflows from it.
you put it there! grant me it, oh lord. let it be
in the cards for me. make time of the essence.
love can come quick, but healing takes time. let
the healing be as swift as possible, please. this
is all that i ask you. my heart longs for you, oh
lord. grant me, your undeserving servant, the desire
of my heart. restore me and make me ready. i love you

-again this wasnt mine but its so right on so i stole it.. thanks Josh.		  
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07:21pm 11/03/2007
 
mood: grateful
Ive been missing a lot of people since I moved.. but its funny.. its not so much the people I was spending a lot of time with (although I do miss them a lot as well).. but Ive been thinking back on old times a lot and really really missing some of the close friendships ive had in the past.
Growing up sometimes is so weird.
You think you have got it all figured out and know who you are.. to be hit in the face with the fact that you really just have no clue.
Its awesome being out on my own doing my own thing.. but where am I going from here?.. in 2 years school will be finished.. and 2 years seems like a while but i can remember being a freshman.. where did the last 5 years go? hah.. I dont know.. I just really want to find purpose. I dont want to continue going through the motions of life.. for the rest of my life.. I want to have an impact in this world and in peoples lives..
I just dont know how yet.
but thats okay.

school is kind of what I thought it would be like.. the church isnt.. but thats okay. im learning to love it anyways..

its the funniest thing to be around so many people whos first language isnt english and to constantly have someone looking at you expecting you to figure out what they are thinking so you can tell them a word to use because they are stopped mid-sentence trying to finish and dont know how... awesome.
it must be that much harder for those people though, away from home and have a harder time communicating than the average person.

I miss having people around me I love. and who love me.
you just dont find that in 6 weeks. who knows everyone is crazy here.. i might be all on my own.. just kidding.. but it is weird to find someone who you really click well with because no one really understands anyone and their jokes and everything because were all from different cultures.. itll get better.
Jesus is still God. and God is still on the throne. ill make it. :)

hello monday... i think ill go take a bus to starbucks and do some school work.		  
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Jesus!   
12:14am 23/07/2006
  Branded by fire this year was weird. not good or bad just different~

but God, as always, really changed some lives and did some awesome things.

I Love being able to be apart of something like that but it also reminds me that im not supposed to depend on God to move at a place like that once a year but Im supposed to BE a move of God and function in the super-natural daily.

easy to type...

but anyways.. im working this thing out

I turn 18 in 25 days!! that's exciting I suppose.
I think i might jump out of a plane!
lol

im going to miss my little brother when I leave.		  
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03:51pm 15/07/2006
  Its been a really long time.


I might take up this LJ thing again and not just read my friends pages.
we'll see.

Life has been really weird lately. Ive been spending time with a lot of new people. Well not new, Ive known them, just never actually spent a lot of time together until recently. I like it.

Ive missed a lot of people i used to see all the time. I stopped at a show not too long ago and saw a bunch of people like kelly jones and kemo and shane and luke.at ozone i saw whitney .. it was really cool. I miss them a lot.
Meanwhile Rae just quit bagelheads and im pissed about it. Shes pretty much one of the only fun people to work with.. but at least she stood up to the crazy general ha thats worth it.
Shes awesome.. if you dont know her meet her.. and soon because she'll probably pack up and leave at any given moment.

life is so weird.

the more i grow up the more that i realize im not at all.

thats deep huh ha
but seriously..
im excited about the next part of my life and who ill become and who the people around me will become its cool.		  
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07:30pm 08/01/2006
 
mood: cheerful
Man it has been a long time since Ive updated this guy
life is better than we allow it to be most of the time.
Im at a very awkward stage in my life.. waiting to graduate so I can leave and go off and start ministry school.. but also not trying to rush the time that I have left so much that I miss alot that I should be soaking in to take along with me
so its kind of like eating dinner and trying not to rush it too much so you enjoy it and dont miss any flavors... but yet you know you have dessert waiting on you to finish so you almost want to rush the dinner part
get it
hah
I dont know but all around Im pleased.. I have great friends an amazing God and life
yay for winter
i love cold		  
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01:11pm 27/09/2005
  1. my full name is Ceslie Aileene Blass and im obsessive compulsive.

2. I have 2 brothers. The fact that were related is most of what I know about them.

3. Jesus Christ is my life, most important. Outside of that I value people more than anything.

4. Anyone I become close to hated me before they met me. Don't know why.

5. My parents are going through a divorce.

6. My patience isnt near as good as it used to be.

7. I can't stand idol time usually.

8. I love to sing.. but I cant well at alll.

9. I usually dont like how I look.. but I accept it.

10. I have awesome friends. Some I never see, some I see everyday.. doesn't change how much I love them.

11. I hate when people abuse the word love.

12. I dont like arrogant people. or ones who feed off of other peoples failures.

13. I love to write.

14. I hate smacking more than anything ksdgjsadgfjasahd.

15. I always have to have gum. always. always.

16. unorganized places make me annoyed.. but you never find my car/room clean.

17. I don't fear many things.

18. I love to surf even though Im not very good.. the ocean is amazing.

19. I can't wait to fall in love.. but I will..

20. I dont believe in regret.		  
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11:45pm 18/09/2005
  I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways

Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You

It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this

You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this		  
     3 Spun Circles around me| Dance With Me
 
 
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